Spinster diary, pt. 1

This week, in my Sociology of the Family class, we talked about dating and marriage. You know, since those two things are kind of required for a family to form. 
So of course, reading chapters on the topic in my textbook, then attending a three hour lecture on the matter, just did wonders for my spinster self-esteem. 
Seeing as most nights of my short life have been spent like this.

Incase you can't tell, I am single. I sometimes refer to myself as somewhat of a "mormon spinster" since I am unmarried at, gasp! 22! (I'm really just being facetious, while it may be an oddity in Utah to be unmarried over the age of 20, I live in Canada where we're a little more forgiving.) 
However, I haven't dated much, and confession - i've never been in a relationship. The guys at church look at me like I have leprosy, or don't look at me at all, and I haven't found any interest at school. I also don't go out to bars or clubs so how in the heck else am I going to meet someone? So in order to remedy the situation, this summer I ventured into the world of online dating. It's been an... interesting experience.

I've gone on a few dates, with a few guys, who were nice enough, but nothing ever came of them. As of late, I'm torn between wanting to throw in the towel and give up because it's just too hard, and wanting to  keep at it, hoping i'll find someone compatible eventually. You see, online dating is very weird. I'll get into this with more detail at some point, but for now, I'm going to showcase just how weird it can be through the use of some ways guys have tried to pick me up. 

Here are some of the best of the worst I have received.
Because if I can't laugh at my situation, i'll cry.

First, we have the just plain awkward ones, that I don't even know how to respond to.

Like..."You look like an teacher lol maybe you are an English teacher? :)" 
And: "For a first date we could rob a bank together!!!!"

And then there are the creepy gross ones.
That I also don't even know how to respond to.

"Just wondering if you'd be up for a little play wrestling..? I could even let you win dear..." 
"seriously we were born to make porn together.....No! what? I must have misread your grin."
"Nice legs. When do they open?"

...and this is why I will forever be single. 


  1. :( I'm sorry online dating's sucking for you. I'm of the opinion that there's someone out there for everyone and it might take a while, but I'm sure you'll find that person.

  2. I dont online date--theres pervs out there and I dont want my body chopped up and stored in the L.A river...lol

  3. I hate to say it but those are kind of hilarious. Especially the rob a bank one. I did online dating for a while and met my first boyfriend--at 22 :)--online, though not specifically on a dating site. I have a hard time with dating in general but for some reason online is even more off-putting to me. Interacting face to face is about 60% of my awesomeness/awkwardness, and it's weird to totally crop that out of an initial interaction. Chances are I won't find anyone soon, but I guess I don't feel any pressure to marry or even really be in a relationship--and thank goodness, since I have grad school to worry about!

  4. Oh my goodness, this post made me laugh out loud. I swear I only laughed at the pick-up lines. Not at the misfortune of finding Mr.Right! Heck, I'm in the situation.
    I've never actually known anyone who went into online dating. I always thought of it as something SNL makes fun of in one of its sketches. You are gonna have to spill some deets on this subject!

    I tend to have guys (friends of friends of course, not strangers) make small talk with me and when they ask the whole "are you single" and I say "yes" then they say but "no way, you're so pretty" and then switch subjects. In my head I'm screaming at them for asking in the first place if they weren't going to lead into anything interesting. haha
    Oh well! I'll probably give myself to the age of 25 and then start the thoughts of dying alone.

  5. Lol, Bridget Jones Diary intro. I still haven't seen that movie, and I should now. I want to read about your "very weird" online dating stories!


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