Fatkini

"Oh, here she goes posting yet another photo of herself in a swimsuit. She must be pretty confident in her self then..."

YES. YES I AM.

I am confident in myself, even in a swimsuit.

Even in a bikini. (Which I fondly refer to as a fatkini.)

Even at my current size of 22.

It's funny, a few years ago I lost a lot of weight and got down to a size 12 for the first time since I was in grade 5. 

That same year, I discovered Modcloth and their adorable retro bikinis. 

But instead of wearing one like I wanted to, I told myself I couldn't because I was too fat. (This was before I started my fat acceptance journey.)

And now, here I am, ten sizes bigger, proudly rocking the fatkini.

Because life is too damn short.

Who knows if i'll be around next year to even go to the beach?

Why not wear what I want today?

I've been searching for summer all year for a fatkini that I liked. And finally, a week ago I found this adorable top and lovely high waisted bottoms at Zellers, of all places. 

I apprehensively tried it on in the fitting room, having had no luck so far with bikinis, and I found that I loved  myself in it.

And loving yourself is really what i'm all about.

So if you're apprehensive about wearing a suit this season, just remember:

                 

So don't let fear, or someone else's negative image of themselves effect what you do/wear, or how you act. You owe it to yourself to do what you want, NOW!

*Also, since I proclaim myself as a Mormon blogger, I thought i'd add a little disclaimer on the bikini debate:

I grew up being told bikinis were not allowed.

At girls camp, the leaders would cover rebellious girls with towels to make sure they abided by the rules. As part of our modesty standards, a bikini would logically be undesirable.

But rather than taking this guideline and flaunting my rebellion of it, I feel I am doing so in a respectful manner. Rather than:

"send[ing] a message that is contrary to your identity as a son or daughter of God" or "send[ing] the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval...." (source)

I feel that, in wearing a bikni and subverting society's expectations and standards of beauty, I am celebrating myself and the body that God has given me. I feel that in loving, rather than being ashamed of that gift, I am in alingment with Heavenly Father's wishes.

Feel free to disagree, and pray for my soul if you so desire.