It's funny, once you get past an insecurity, it's so much easier to get past it again and again. A year ago I wore my first fatkini. I had been working up to that for years. And finally, I just did it. And it felt great.
I've started to add to my collection this summer, and with each new suit I feel more and more confident. There are still times when that old insecurity creeps in, with the stares that I inevitably get, but I just push past their negativity and do what I want to do.
Life's not worth living if you're hiding away afraid to experience things because of what other people will think. Trust me, I have done that exact thing almost my whole life and I know that for a fact.
I have been trying to live it up this summer as much as I can, at my favorite beach, a lake, in Port Moody. (I actually don't like swimming in the ocean, lakes for life!!) I even took my parents there when they were out for a visit. At my favorite point, a dock ripe for jumping off of, there were a bunch of drunk idiots there. So my parent's didn't want to go in the water. I did, so I went for it.
My mother commented on how much i've changed these past few years, how, now I "do things you never would have done before". And it's true, in finally accepting myself (for my size, amoung other things) i've found i'm not afraid of just going for it (as much) anymore.
Once you make that first (literal or metaphorical) jump, it starts to get easier every time.
So take a risk, go ahead and do, and wear, what you want. No matter what your size is. Because something as silly as a number on a tag or the scale should not have power over you living your life.